Done and dusted

"There is so much dust on the countertops" my spouse complained and I agreed with him. It really was astonishing how dust built-up on every available surface in my house. After all, we stayed on the fifth floor, far from the madding crowd.

Taking cognizance of the fact that all of us have a severe dust allergy, I sensibly refrained from sending the dust flying and left it right there, undisturbed. Why tempt the sinuses with swirling dust mites. Seems like a task only the brainless or the hardy would undertake.

Did you know maids in all homes utter, "From ashes to ashes, dust to dust", knowing fully well that everyone's forefathers reside as dust particles and scattering them aside would be blasphemous? Resolving hence, to keep the ancestors happy, every single maid who has ever worked in my house keeps the dust intact. I had recently been indoctrinated into this non-controversial philosophy by my devout Hindu maid. It really is astonishing how all religions are interlinked.

The point that is of supreme importance is that if you moved ancestor A to the spot occupied by ancestor B and sent the latter unceremoniously flying to the floor, it is very unlikely that either of them will set out to help you in a crisis.

Why just ancestors, even the egos of young kids don't accept the trampling which comes with being asked unceremoniously to shift from their positions just because they are punier. 

It's an accepted rule in our house that the prodigal son will sit behind the driver, that is yours truly, just so he can keep barking commands, couched as requests, into my ear. For instance, he will command me to stop just outside a chaat shop since he has an uncontrollable craving for food which cannot be delayed by even five minutes. 

His faithful follower, his little sister, sits at the head of the dining table and commands us to allow her to leave her veggies intact on her plate. I think their authority comes from where they sit. 

These are not ingrained or inborn traits but it is indisputably recognized by everyone as the route to leadership roles. The desire for the commanding chair leads to strange situations. No one frowns on the method of disputing authority by throwing chairs at political rivals. The Taiwanese parliamentarians did it, the Uttar Pradesh legislative assembly members indulged in it and not to be left behind, the South Africans joined the party too. Once your chair is broken and you are unable to sit, obviously, then your authority vanishes.

I put forth to you the premise that if you want to show up a rival or even your boss, just make their chairs disappear. 

Meanwhile, scientists are analyzing rocks from the moon, brought back by astronauts in 1972. Since these are in limited supply, apparently they are using a new technique called atom probe tomography. This analyses just a single grain of moon dust. If the man on the moon complains about his ancestors being mauled, you can ask him to contact the University of Chicago or better still, contact me. I will ask my maid to indoctrinate the scientists as well. Gold dust will be an acceptable mode of payment.