Existential dilemmas: a truthfully inaccurate account

I do think 'apple of our eyes’ is such a tired and beaten expression, not to mention the feelings it evokes of being gypped by high prices and bland taste. So our elder child, who I will refrain from addressing thus, piped up to exclaim over some marvelous sporting equipment his friend had bought from Decathlon.

“Really mum, their stuff is the best and so reasonable too!”

I decided to finally confess “Yes dear, I agree. I got you from there too. They had a discount offer and I purchased you for just 250/- bucks. I think it was a good investment.”

His jaw dropped and he was just ready to explode, when the father, unwilling to let me tell my version of the truth decided to tell him his version. “She's joking obviously, sonny boy. You were my punishment for jumping a red signal; and as punishments go, I'm still serving my sentence.”

Seeing his look of reproach he hastily added: “I'm glad I got punished, it was a good punishment.”

To make him feel better he added: “and do you know how I got mamma?”

“Yes, she sang like an angel and you were blown away by it,” said the eleven-year-old who has obviously been watching too many musicals in my absence. Surprising, since I thought he only watched brain numbing movies of comic action figures.

“No, No,” said the evil parent, “I got her as a punishment for a serious traffic violation.”

Of course, I countered that with, “what rubbish, I got you as an add-on offer. Buy a bag and get a bag carrier free!” (Referring obviously to the spouse).

The little one watched the exchange, bemused, but assured the elder one that “these two are just lying, don't worry.”

He wasn't exactly worried though. Obviously, he isn’t easily fooled and knows something about the birds and the bees!

Recently, narrating the story of how Medusa got snakes for locks of hair, he succinctly summed up her transgression by saying Athena saw Medusa ‘doing it’ with Poseidon!”

He was however not very happy to have his inclusion into our lives thus described- like a shopping bonanza or a punishment. Well, I could have told him he was an extraterrestrial with superpowers. It might have been far cooler to dream of joining the Avengers. I could have made him a ninja star logo to pin onto his chest. But he has to earn his stripes. Maybe break a wall or two, or at the very least, eat spinach without making faces!